Normally a relationship between father and son is not very clearly defined and understood.
Till 10th I was a day scholar, 11th and 12th I was in boarding school and then in engineering I was again in boarding. There were certain situations which often occurred in life.
If I got punishment in school, my father always took side of teacher.
If I had a fight then I was supposed to settle it myself. No parental involvement.
If I hurt myself, beyond a cursery enquiry he would not pay attention.
If I would overspend my monthly allowance, he would not readily give more.
If I didn’t like the food cooked in house, i had to remain hungry till next meal.
Due to his frequent travelling, sometimes I would get my monthly allowance late by money order ( in those days that was the means). I had to manage situation myself till then.
In examination days, unlike mother, he would not share the stress I had.
For commuting he would not offer car but always dropped me at nearest bus stand or railway station.
After graduation when I started my business he chose to overlook the hardships I faced.
I had to fight my own battles. Mother’s love, affection and concern showed but father didn’t seem much interested in my growing up.
Later on when I started going to school in alumini meets and met my teachers, they told me that my father would constantly be in touch with them enquiring all about my performances. He urged them to push me into sports and extra curricular activities.
As I learnt more and more of this, my feelings changed from being surprised to respect to admiration and then to love.
I then started putting all the peices together. Gifting me books on occassions, discussing current affairs whenever we met, discussing technology etc every thing had a purpose. Now I know how I developed My love for reading and writing.
As I am a father myself now to grown up kids, I feel that too much of handholding in young age should be avoided. It is better for the child to make his own way. It may hurt sometimes but later on it makes an individual emotionally strong. Maybe too much strictness is not possible nowadays, maybe children may not accept it too. Times have changed. We didn’t have a choice then.
It is like a tree guard where the guard gives protection from surroundings but doesn’t interfere in the growth of tree itself. At a point of time tree is strong enough and guard is not required.
That guard is not longer around me but I am sure, somewhere up above he is still giving his blessings.
I enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing.
I am glad you liked it
Fathers always make his child strong to face the world . But live so much from core of his heart